Lonely
by chloet132
Summary: This is my first attempt at a fanfic after hearing the question, how would Magnus feel when it came to Ashleys birthday. I do not own sanctuary or any of its characters or awesomeness.


Helen Magnus rarely allowed herself to feel lonely. She was constantly surrounded by friends and colleagues, with whom she shared her life. Today, however, was a different matter.

There was only thing missing in her life, and that one thing was what made her long existence seem so frightening. The thought of being all alone raced through her mind, but was it really being alone that scared her, or having to face the fact that the most important person in her life was gone.

All week Helen had been forced to get some sleep by the Big Guy, but every time she closed her eyes, she could see her face. _Ashley._

The day she had been dreading all week had finally arrived and Helen was determined to prove to the rest of the team that she was ok, and that they did not have to look after her. She was after all, over 200 years old, and she was used to looking after them, not the other way round. Helen realised though, that the teams efforts to look after her may not be entirely selfless, they too still hurt. Will, the Big Guy and Henry all missed her too, and her birthday was one of the hardest days for them all. They were a family. They were _her_ family.

Helen pushed herself harder than usual that day, in a bid to wear herself out, to make sleep more achievable, and in hope of not having that horrible dream again.

As her head hit the pillow, she sighed, and knew it would be a long night. Her mind ticked over various thoughts, issues and things to remember for the following day. After what seemed an eternity, she could feel herself drifting off to sleep...

... and that's when she heard the voice. It was so familiar. Where had she heard it before? She bolted out of bed and opened her bedroom door just in time to see a flash of blonde hair race round the corner at the end of the corridor. She looked back at her night stand contemplating whether a gun was necessary at this time of night and decided against it. Taking a deep drawn out breath she headed in the direction the figure had headed. As she approached the corner she could hear a voice calling her:

"Come on, you're supposed to be chasing me"

"Ashley", Helen cried, increasing her pace in the direction from which the voice had come.

Helen followed the figure for what seemed like hours, across all areas of the sanctuary, occasionally the figure would speak or she would see wisps of blonde hair. Finally the figure appeared to enter Helens office, leaving the door open. Helen crept in, stopping by the door to let her striking blue eyes adjust to the darkness. She closed the door to, and started across to her desk. In Helens mind everything had a place and a purpose, everything was organised and done a certain way, which is why when she looked at her desk she knew the figure was there. Her chair normally tucked neatly under the desk was now in front of the desk with its back to her.

"Ashley, please. Talk to me. I never gave up looking for you. Please, say something", Helen pleaded. "I think of you always, my little one."

Her eyes began to well up, and she could feel that first tear roll down her cheek, and as it did she fell to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably.

"I knew you weren't really gone, I knew it. I'm just glad you have come home. Ashley. Please. I never meant for any of this to happen, you were never meant to get hurt."

Helen took a long deep breath, in ... and out ...

She slowly rose and stumbled towards the chair, grabbing at it as her heartbreak caused her to fall to the floor once more. The chair span as Helen let go.

It was empty.

Helen curled into a ball on the floor, and wept, unsure as to what had just happened. The only thing she did know was that whatever she had seen was gone now, and no one would believe she had seen it.

Henry woke with a start. He thought he heard voices calling outside his room. He led there silently. He was sure he had heard Magnus, positive infact. Rubbing his tired eyes, he looked at the clock on the dresser: 4:32 am. _Even Magnus isn't normally up at this time_ he thought, snuggling back into his duvet and closing his eyes.

Something wouldn't let him sleep though, there was something keeping him awake. He led in the bed until the clock read 6:30 am. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he grabbed his dressing gown, knowing what day it was, and how hard it was going to be for them all, especially Magnus. He decided he best check to see it was her he had heard, she would probably be in her office by now if she was up and about.

Walking down the hall, Henry rubbed his eyes and shuffled his feet, upon reaching the office door he stopped, stretched and released an epic yawn, wishing he could just go back to sleep.

He gently knocked on the elegant door leading to Helens office. No reply.

_I'll go grab her cup and empty wine glass from last night_ Henry thought, knowing very well that the first thing Magnus would want when she wakes is a cup of tea.

He swung the office door open, and flicked the light switch. Squinting at the bright light, he could see a figure on the floor, curled up into a ball. Running over to check on the form on the floor, he realised she was just asleep, her eyes red and puffy as though she had been crying. Henry pushed the chair back behind the desk, thinking that maybe Magnus had had a little bit too much wine and never made it to bed. Next he picked up a blanket from the chaise longue and placed it over her shoulders, and a cushion under her head, trying his hardest not to wake the sleeping woman.

She could feel her head being lifted off the floor, by someone who obviously cared about her, as they had a gentle touch. Her puffy eyes ached, and she couldn't quite remember where she was. Had she had a dream?

She forced her eyes open, and looked straight into the eyes of Henry, feeling another tear roll down her cheek. Henry leant forward and placed a kiss on her forehead and spoke softly to her.

"Ssshhh it was just a dream"


End file.
